BODY SHAMING

We're all guilty of it, whether it is towards someone else or about ourselves we have all body shamed at some point in our lives, probably at some point this week, or even today. But what we must remember is that it isn't our responsibility to be beautiful, we are not alive for that purpose. Our existence isn't determined by how desirable we are.

Messages from the media often imply that we should want to change and that we should care about being that bit slimmer, that little bit more tanned and that little bit more fashionable. If we don't adhere to these should's, these expectations then we worry about being judged, being the target of others body shaming us. No matter how body shaming manifests itself it all comes down to the same idea, that people should be judged solely on how they present themselves externally.

Growing up I was always told, 'How you make others feel about themselves says a lot about you.'

We spend a lot of time criticizing each other and it comes from our own insecurities. I spent years stuck in that mindset. I would look for faults in other peoples bodies so that I could justify my own. I wanted people to be a little fatter than me, dress a little worse than me and have dodgy roots because then I would feel better about myself. It wasn't just others I would criticize I would practice the act of body shaming daily or even hourly alone in my bedroom and pick at all of my faults turning them into mantras, affirming I was fat, ugly and undesirable like they were the only things that gave my life any value. People who make fun of others usually can't think of a single good thing to say about themselves.

I am happy to say these days I love myself a little more but I am still a little insecure at times and those are the days when I look in the mirror and I say, you are not perfect but you are enough. You live your life with good intentions and that is what makes you a good person, not what you wear, how much you weight or ho pale you are. I also have learned to respect people's individuality. We were all born unique, we all have different body shapes, skin tones and hair colours. We all express ourselves differently be it how we dress, decorate our bodies or chose what lifestyle we want to follow.

Be body positive, be body confident, love your personality, wear the clothes you want, eat what you want, listen to you music you want, speak out about what matters to you. Confidence although in some areas will attract criticism will also bring you respect. Standing up for you values and what you believe in and believing in yourself will increase your self respect, elevate your confidence and lead to a happier life. Your body is amazing and you should love it and you should remind yourself everyday of how much you love it. How you look does not determine your existence.

Start today, start with one small step and find just one thing you like about yourself and focus on that, and as the days go by find more and build up a collection that outnumbers the bits you hate.