WOUNDOLOGY

We love to hold onto our shit, we believe it makes us interesting, it gives us something to talk about, complain about, seek sympathy for or an excuse to project our anger or to not take responsibility, "I'm like this because..."

Have you ever met someone for the first time and they started telling you all of their problems, and how life is just overall crappy for them? They lay it all out there, blaming and making excuses for their ongoing suffering. That person is living in their wounds. I lived deep, deep down in my wounds for a long, long time and I made sure the whole world knew about it. I developed a "Woundology" (a concept derived by Caroline Myss) and it became my identity, my badge of honor.

These days I occasionally pick at the scab, like this first week on my Yoga Teacher Training. I have tapped back into my woundology as an attempt to find a way to fit into the group, to be interesting. We all have our stories and my wound is mine.

It is normal that after any trauma or difficult time we all have a healing process to undergo. This is a period of time where we express our wounds, it's called grief, and that is OK but there comes a point where you need to let it go and take responsibility, no one else and nothing else will make it OK for you.

I have used my wound (my eating disorder) as an excuse for so many years as a way to manipulate people into giving me space, compassion or recognition for 'recovering'. It creates a lot of emotion and drama, you're a complicated person, no one understands you. Someone living in this space connects best with other people who also have a hurt past and live in their woundology - your vibe attracts your tribe. I can see this pattern in my own life. I rejected those who lived on a higher vibration and gravitated to those with who I could create a mutual victim/victim relationship, which is so unhealthy because the foundation of the relationship is injury, pain, power and fear. Then I wonder why I was unable develop or maintain healthy relationships.

But, you are not meant to stay wounded. You are meant to heal and to connect with others based on your love, your passions, your skills and talent. You are meant to create healthy relationships. It is OK to be happy, to forgive your past, and to love yourself.

If you don't move past what hurt you, it will be difficult to move to what will heal you. Don't be ashamed to work on you, everyone has something they are trying to get over. Healing helps you to bridge the gap between affliction so that you can create greater affection for yourself.

When you shed your woundology, positive and beautiful things will start to happen. I have found that things flow more, that I meet nice people and opportunities present themselves. I don't feel quite so tired anymore and I am able to walk away from situations that no longer serve me, my wound no longer serves me. I don't feel the need to share it with everyone, I don't need my wound to help me feel accepted, to start a conversation or to make me interesting. I am learning to use my words wisely or not at all, but I do slip back into it at times, I still have a little way to go to finally accept fully letting go but I am human and I am not perfect and nor will I keep trying to be.